


Unexpected

by MiddleNameIgnominy



Category: Political RPF
Genre: Betrayal, Hate to Love, Multi, Rough Kissing, Weddings, jokefic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 12:47:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8579164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiddleNameIgnominy/pseuds/MiddleNameIgnominy
Summary: Bernie and Trump started out wanting to date Hillary, but that changes.





	

It had been a long day for Hillary. She could spend hours telling you about an unfortune series of events started simply because of a broken pencil, but it would be pointless. Trying to clear her mind, she opened Chrome and checked her emails.  
Mistake #1  
She saw 3 emails in her inbox. She opened the first one, which read:  
"Dear Hillary,  
I am desperately in love with you. I have loved you ever since, like, a bajillion years ago. If you date me, I will give you free chocolate and flowers every Tuesday.  
Sincerely, Bernie"  
Confused as to how anyone could afford such things daily, she opened her second email.  
"Dear Hillary,  
I love you, so, so much. Believe it or not, you are probably the only girl I'll ever love. I mean, how could I resist a woman with big, round knees like yours? Please date me.  
Sincerely, Donald."  
Triggered by Donald's lewd comments, she checked her third email. It was something about Putin threatening to declare war on America or whatever, but she was too distracted by the others' confessions to worry about that nonsense. Honestly, though, where did these even come from?! They're barely even on a first name basis with each other! In a state of total confusion and panic, she deleted the emails. Once she calmed down a bit, she realized what she just did. Not again! She tried to retrieve the emails from the recycling bin, but they weren't there because plot convenience. She created a new message, entered both men as the recipients, told them to meet up at the local Krystal Burger the next day, and hit send.  
Mistake #2  
The next day, the three of them went to Krystal Burger, all roughly arriving within the same hour, despite having forgotten to set a specific time. As they ate, Hillary spoke.  
"It seems the two of you have developed feelings for me."  
"Oh, is that why we're here?" Bernie started, "I thought we were here to dicuss the possibility of a transgender black widow spider eating itself."  
"Why would you think that?"  
"I dunno."  
"Anyway, how do I figure out which one of you to pick?"  
"Why not both?" Donald chimed in  
"Such a phrase could be pondered by a non-binary black widow!" Said Bernie  
"Good point! Do you think experiments involving transgender spiders should be government-funded?"  
"Absolutely!"  
"Guys, I think we're getting a little off-topic..."  
"Shut up, woman." Donald said distractedly, "We need to test your hypothesis ASAP!"  
"Now that you mention it, actually, I do have another hypothesis I'd like to test."  
"What's that?"  
"What do your lips taste like?"  
"Oh, Bernie!"  
The two smashed their open mouths together, much to the surprise of everyone in the room. Hillary left because she felt uncomfortable.  
Mistake #3  
After the passionate kiss, the two men looked around to see where Hillary went, so that they could work something out, but she was nowhere to be found. They shrugged it off and left the restaurant together.  
All that happened in 2015. 11 months later in 2016, the two love birds walked down the aisle together. A single tear fell down Hillary's face as her former suitors were wed. Truth be told, she never liked either of them even a little, but this single moment was so beautiful, it was worth it to bring them together.  
The end.

**Author's Note:**

> IDK why but writing this was SO much fun.


End file.
